I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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