Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
