Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
