you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Randomize