dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
