what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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