I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
