East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
