So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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