The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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