Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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