Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Randomize