Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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