I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
