Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
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If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
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You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall