the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.