Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You ruined the universe
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
