Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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