the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
