they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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