So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
