Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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