It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
