you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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