Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
