College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
