Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
