What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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