I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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