Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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