So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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