Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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