That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So. Much. Porn.
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