"it" just moved
I think I died a long time ago.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
