So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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