Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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