I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize