Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How does one acquire holy water?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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