Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
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Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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