Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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