i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
