I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
her vagine was all disorganized.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize