On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize