every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You are a genius and a whore.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize