after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
