just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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