My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
