i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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