he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
