only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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