I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
