im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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