I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
