Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Dicks are not precious.
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