well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
