she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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