Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
