I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
