smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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