Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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